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An oldy but goody told at today's CLE:
The prosecutor calls a grandmotherly lady to the witness stand to testify at trial. In order to start her off slowly he asks her, "Mrs. Maxwell, do you know who I am?" To which she replied, "Yes, I know you. I've known you ever since you were born. You were a spoiled rich kid who stole other children's toys. You grew up to become a self-important snob who thinks he is better than anyone else. You will do anything to advance your political career and I know you've convicted people who were innocent just so you could get your name in the paper."
The prosecutor is staggered and in his shock he can only think of one question: "Mrs. Maxwell, do you know who the defense attorney is?" "Yes, I've known him for 35 years. He was a juvenile delinqent whose father bought his way into law school because his grades were so bad. He was going to be a judge until the newspaper found out that he had been representing hookers and getting paid in sex. "
The entire courtroom sits in shocked silence. Finally, the judge calls both counselors to a side bar. Looking them in the face he says, "If either of you two corrupt bastards ask her if she knows me you're going to jail."