1) If you can afford $75 a day, maybe you can buy the best jail cell available too.
2) Stealing hair from combs (in people's luggage) can get your probation revoked. Who knew?
3) What kind of sicko tells his two year old son, "Stab mommy"?
4) Don't tempt the reaper - or at least don't cuss out the judge. Bad things can happen thereafter.
5) You know, the only house I can remember from old sitcoms is the Brady residence. However, this guy obviously was looking for something a little Moore newsworthy.
6) Is there now a YouTube channel for catching criminals?
7) Trying to hire someone to kill the head of the NYPD = not a smart idea. Trying to do it while you're in jail and because of something you had nothing to do with = time for a mental exam.
8) Duuuude! If you're going to carry, like, a ton of marijuana up I-95 you probably don't want to crash into that parked State Trooper.