5/30/2007
Strange, Silly, & Creepy
2) As you are running away from the robbery you probably shouldn't shoot yourself in the leg.
3) We'd all like to do it once every so often, but it probably isn't helpful to tell the judge he is a few freedom fries short of a happy meal.
4) Okay, if it takes the government so long to execute someone that they have to give him a bathroom break it just might qualify as cruel (and hopefully unusual).
5) Y'know, generally your last words before execution should probably be more inspiring than "Go Raiders."
6) They just don't like ATM machines in South Africa.
7) You're asleep on the back porch. A dog jumps the fence and attacks you. As you awake and start to defend yourself a voice yells over the fence telling you to stop fighting the dog because he's a police dog. And the story goes on from there . . .
8) Hey guys, if you burglarize donut shops catching you will become a priority.
9) He may be nuts, but if he was organized enough to plan out this rape he's going to have a hard time claiming to be incompetent.
10) Police in Japan are cracking down on those dangerous 2 to a bicycle riders.
11) Stolen: One gold bathtub from a tenth floor public bathroom.
12) I don't care if you work at a zoo, it is not legal to treat a woman the same way you treat a lion.
13) Nope, I'm not really surprised that you struck out when you hit on the clerk of the store you just robbed.
14) Are you a highly respected member of the bar when your conviction for impersonating a police officer - in order to intimidate a witness - is overturned on the sole ground that it was prosecuted too late?
15) If you're trying to get the reward, don't be stupid enough to try and blackmail the property's owner.
16) Michael Vick bets on dog fights. Yeah, I know, you're shocked.
17) Ummm . . . The bailiff's job isn't to give the judge "foot rubs and back massages."
18) And finally, proof positive that we are allowing our judges too much time to serf the web. ;-)
5/29/2007
Defending a Murderer
"I guess this is where it starts becoming okay for me to interject my own point of view. If you've ever met me, you know that I fall asleep quickly, and can do so under just about any circumstance. (I once fell asleep jogging in the Army. Almost craked my head on the curb...) At any rate, almost nothing messes with my sleep. Almost. The Jamal Verde case did."
5/29/2007
Life in a Jail
She looked me in the eyes and told me that if I didn't give her an OR, it would be my fault when she lost her job."
5/25/2007
My Beloved Bengals Interact with the Law
A prosecutor calls Henry a low-life and the Coach says that his players are singled out. Meanwhile, Henry passes a drug test.
5/25/2007
One of Our Judges Ruled Against by the JRC
5/22/2007
There are gangs and then there are Gangs
There are some gangs which you are more likely to meet in a dark alley than others.
5/22/2007
Would You Risk Your Career for a Quickie with Shark Lady?
That's what she claims a Tennessee State Trooper did.But, he still wrote her the ticket (although he only threw away the potentially illegal drugs).
5/21/2007
Hot Fuzz
How do you handle an officer who's so good that he's making ever other officer in the city look bad? Why, you ship him off to a quiet, peaceful, sleepy town so far from civilization that they haven't even heard of cell phones. And then what happens? Has a "top-cop" got what it takes to catch a fugitive goose? Or will he find something more????
Review:
There's nothing redeeming about this movie - it's just fun to watch. Walk into the theater, shut your brain down and enjoy. Not too many huge guffaws (it's too British for that) but it's consistently humorous from start to finish.
Ken Lammers . . . Permalink . . .
5/21/2007
And then there are the Judges . . .
2) We need to hook this judge up with HOWT. How can you live in the modern world and not know what a website is?
3) A judge's suits must cost a lot more than mine, 'cuz I just don't see how a cleaner could make a $65 million error, even if it destroyed all my clothes.
Ken Lammers . . . Permalink . . .
5/20/2007
It's Like the Scene in Scarface
5/20/2007
The Strange and Silly
2) DON'T PUT YOUR ILLEGAL AND UNREPENTANT ACTS ON MYSPACE. You'll earn yourself 2 years.
3) Y'know, call me an unbeliever, but I'll never truly believe that many bites on a baby were to "teach him a lesson."
4) Well, it looks like Paris Hilton will only get 23 days. Not going to say anything more about all that stupidity.
5) It's never too early to recruit baby NRA members.
6) Storing a baby in the helmet container under the motorcycle's seat. LLLOOOoonnngg prison sentence needed.
7) There's a bright side to most every story. For instance, at least the police were only going to rob a drug dealer.
8) This kid just doesn't get it. Burnt once stealing he goes back and accomplishes the exact same result.
9) Need a "drink driving" expert? I guess they only drink in NZ, they must not drive drunk.
10) And just what's wrong with having the inmates come to your house and do all the drudge work?
5/17/2007
View from Above

Driving over a mountain every day to get to work can be a pain some times. At other times it can be pretty nice. This morning it was overcast, but the top of the mountain was above the clouds.
5/16/2007
Stealing from the Girl Scouts
5/16/2007
Pity the White Collar Convict
via White Collar Crime Prof
5/16/2007
Infinite Creativity
5/16/2007
Pirates!!!
5/16/2007
Khat
5/16/2007
No, the Killer Cannot Have the Decedent's Insurance Proceeds . . .
5/16/2007
Can We Make Prison a Shank Free Zone?
5/15/2007
Letters of an Abortion Clinic Bomber
5/14/2007
Around the Web
2) A judge tells a sick offender that he wants to make sure the offender dies in custody.
3) In Florida it is apparently unethical for judges to disagree.
4) Washington Supreme Court says tough luck, the police can trick you into giving evidence against yourself.
5) Is the US worse than Libya et al. because we imprison more people?
6) Boys and their toys. How many gadgets in the courtroom are too many gadgets in the courtroom?
7) But we shouldn't be prosecuting the rich anyway, should we?
5/14/2007
Is Anybody's Out There's Arabic Better than Mine?
Oh, yeah, there's also thanks from Arab American News for the police in Detroit being forbidden from asking if someone is a legal immigrant.
5/14/2007
US Sentencing Commission Slams Crack Guidelines
5/13/2007
Happy Mother's Day

5/11/2007
Virginia v. Bloomberg: Would the Commonwealth Indict a Yankee Mayor?
And then the Virginia Attorney General sends a nice letter to the NYC Mayor explaining federalism to him.
5/09/2007
Off Point: A Deployed Soldier Talks About Iraq
The Major uses military speak, but I think most of it is comprehensible. He also says "Sir" a lot but that's just an ingrained response which the military drills into soldiers dealing with unknown civilians. All-in-all, it's an interesting view of what's going on on the ground.
5/08/2007
Around the Web
2) Robbing mobsters is a really, really bad idea.
3) Do police need to be more military?
4) Kansas can't seem to afford edible food for its prisoners.
5) If you're going to keep two trucks full of booze at your bar, you ought to have a license.
6) Yet again, I have not been suggested for another federal court opening.
7) Make sure the elevator isn't possessed before you vandalise it.
8) Battlin' Bowlers.
9) Paris Hilton keeps getting pulled over for DWC (Driving While Cute).
10) Using a blood filled syringe as a tool for robbery.
11) Alabama judge makes thieves wear "I am a Theif" signs in front of the store stolen from.
12) Singing outside an officer's house is not a crime (in New Zealand - don't try that around here.
13) Is the judge your mommy or daddy?
5/07/2007
The Hats! The Hats!



Sometimes I wonder if the Derby is the most important part of the sporting year because it's the one time of the year women can actually wear those hats.
Then again, Horses might have something to do with it.

5/04/2007
Tragedy in the Making
In November, [the defendant] entered a plea to abduction with intent to defile -- carrying a 20-year minimum sentence -- and unlawful wounding, and Fay [the prosecutor] agreed to dismiss the rape and sodomy charges. But when [the defendant] later learned that the abduction charge would require him to register as a sex offender, he balked.As I do the guidelines abduction with intent to defile and unlawful wounding have a recommended sentencing range of 3 years 2 months to 9 years 5 months with a mid-point of 6 years 3 months. Abduction with unlawful wounding carries a guideline recommendation of probation. Neither of those figure in whatever prior record the defendant may have had.
[The defendant]'s attorney, Bobby B. Stafford, said he called Fay, and both lawyers acknowledged they had not known of the registration requirement. Fay agreed to reduce the abduction charge to simple abduction, with a range of zero to 10 years and no registration requirement.
The lawyers and [the defendant] quietly returned to court March 14 to revise [the defendant]'s pleas. A transcript of that hearing shows that neither the lawyers nor Fairfax Circuit Court Judge Stanley P. Klein asked whether the victim had been consulted on the change in pleas. The victim was not there and said she had not been consulted. State law requires judges to ask prosecutors whether the victim has been consulted, but only if the victim makes a written request. The victim said she was never told to make such a request.
Two days later, the victim and her boyfriend, a Maryland police officer, appeared for Marriott's sentencing. Although the minister faced a maximum of 17 years, Klein sentenced him to 16 months.
The victim was stunned. When she later learned that Fay had agreed to reduce [the defendant]'s charges, she was outraged. Fay said she had fully informed the victim of the situation. The victim, her boyfriend and the investigating officer, Detective Edward Vaughan, said Fay was mistaken.
After meeting with Fay and Vaughan, Fairfax Chief Deputy Commonwealth's Attorney Raymond F. Morrogh said he believed the victim and Vaughan. He said Fay's actions were "an embarrassment to our office and a disgrace." Morrogh then took Fay off all felony cases.
Washington Post
I don't know the actual facts and circumstances around this case. It seems that the prosecutor agreed to the reduction only to remove the registration requirement and assumed that the abduction to defile guidelines would be used or that the difference would not be substantial (I'll admit I was surprised at a probation recommendation).
I'm really surprised that the judge imposed a sentence so low. If the facts, as they can be proven, are as bad as laid out in the article I would expect a judge to give far more time than this (Virginia sentencing guidelines are entirely discretionary).
Something's out of kilter here.
5/03/2007
Medical Pot is OK in State Court
5/03/2007
DNA - Conviction - Retest - Courts Not Prosecutors
5/03/2007
Does Hate Crime Legislation Limit Religious Teaching?
5/03/2007
Why Don't We Just Brand Them?
If you're going to actually try to do something effective then you have to do something as noticeable and unremovable as the scarlet letter. So, will the legislators proposing the plates also propose that all convicted sex offenders have a 2" red bar tattooed on their foreheads and bright yellow letters "PERVERT" in it?
5/03/2007
Why is the Virginia Supreme Court Closed?
Thursday, May 3, 2007: The Supreme Court Building in Richmond will be closed to the public. However, the Office of the Executive Secretary will be staffed with essential personnel to assist the courts. Computer systems will remain available to all users.Somebody in the office suggested that this is because of the visit of the British Queen. Anybody know if the government of a Commonwealth in a democratic-republic which 200+ years back rejected the monarchy is closed in honor of the visit of the current monarch?
5/02/2007
Ummm . . .
5/02/2007
Flee from the Police . . .
5/02/2007
Serial Killers and Unidentified Victims
5/02/2007
5/02/2007
Prosecuting the Madame . . .
5/02/2007
5/01/2007
Don't Brag You've Got evidence the Judges are Acting Illegally
5/01/2007
You Cannot Steal a Car . . .
5/01/2007
WhatDoya'know?
My law school roommate made partner at Troutman Sanders.Congrats Brandon.
And remember, if your law firm ever wants to hire a person who's not qualified to practice in any of the areas which it specializes in and pay him an unseemly amount of money - I'm there for you.
5/01/2007
Meanwhile, Another W&L Grad . . .
Jonathan MacArthur is off tilting at windmills and getting some interesting results.
5/01/2007
What Do I Make of This?
Ambush in Bartlette
Chapters 1 - 13
Chapters 1 - 13
Law & Theory
- LAWS
- Va.'s Versions of Mayhem (malicious wounding et al): 4 In One Statute ~ Graphic
- Aggravated Malicious Wounding
- The Moped Exception
- Rape by Lie: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3
- No Intent Needed
- Arresting in a House
- Common Law Trespass
- Certificate of Analysis Introduction
- Probable Cause: Car Passengers
- Obstruction of Justice Limited
- Stealing Electronic Items
- Stolen Value: Price Tags
- Stolen Value: No Price Tags
- Stolen Value: Electronic Items
- No Weekend Jail on Felonies
- Obstruction of Justice Limited
- No Trifurcation
- No More Beer at the Barbeque
- Respondeat Superior
- DUI & Reckless Driving
- Can You Steal From the Dead?
- Outlawry Outlawed
- Felony 2d Degree Murder
- Banishment
- Computer Fraud
- Insta-Deputy
- PROCEDURE
- Using Statements Made During Plea Negotiations: 1 ~ 2a ~ 2b ~ 2c
- Invoking Right to Attorney in Virginia
- Who Prosecutes Misdemeanors?
- Expungement
- Surrebuttal
- Virginia's Reasonable Doubt
- Reasonable Doubt II
- Instruction: Right to Arm
- Virginia Castle Doctrine1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~
- Dismissed with Prejudice
- SENTENCING
- I. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- II. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- III. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- Probation & Suspended Time
- Advisement in Virginia
- Jury v. Judge (sentencing roles)
- Limits on Evidence Presentable to a Jury
- Jury Sentencing Possibilities
- &CETERA
- Witnesses & Writ of Actual Innocence
- Domestic Battery & Firearm Possession
- Domestic Battery & Testimony I
- Domestic Battery & Testimony II
- Domestic Battery & Testimony III
- Domestic Battery & Testimony IV
- Shall Doesn't Mean Shall
- Just Following Orders
- Lycurgus Not Welcome in Virginia
Practice Tips
Specific Cases
- Jones:Trespass = Search
- Shatzer:4th Amendment Expiration Date
- Gant: Limiting Car Searches
- Montejo: No more 6th Amendment Protections
- Padilla & the Prosecutor
- Ventris: Allowing Unconstitutional Questioning
- Carroll Doctrine
Legal Theory
- Best Way to Choose a Judge
- What's a Prosecutor?
- Defense Attorney Purpose
- Plea Agreement Actualities
- The Big 4: Why I can't Go To Jail: 1 ~ 2
- Liquor Use Laws
- How to Fix Va.'s Court of Appeals
- Punishment Scale
- Punishment Scale Explained
- Punishment: There but for the Grace of God
- Heavy Sentences (1)
- Heavy Sentences (2)
- Probation
- Change Felonies to Misdemeanors
- Do Justice?
- Kentucky v. Virginia
- Must Prosecutors Disprove Affirmative Defenses?
- Drug Schedules & Punishment
- Defendants & Situational Sincerity
- 1) Immorality in Pleading Not Guilty
- 2) Immorality of Pleading Not Guilty
- Posner v. Hart & Strict Liability
- More Posner & Strict Liability
- Pre-Stare Decisis
- Let Juries Find People Innocent
- Tell Jury Elements Pretrial
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (1)
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (2)
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (3)
- Brady
- Writ of Spite & Hatred
- Various Riot Acts
- Tazers
- Finding of Innocent
- No Appellate Oral Arguments
- CrimJustice Purpose
- Pro Se Defendants
- Misdirecting the Police
- Stress Seekers?
- Plea Agreement
- Faking Probable Cause I
- Faking Probable Cause II
- Faking Probable Cause III
- Faking Probable Cause IV
- Legalese: Name Changes
- How Could We Best Select a Judge
- RICO & Bin Laden
- Requirement of Defense Attorneys
- Should Lawyers Make Clients Confess?
- Crummy Hired Defense Attorneys
- Noble Defense?
Back When I was a Defense Attorney
FEB03
Jury
Jury
JUN03
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
JUL03
A Week in the Life
OCT03
A Week in the Life
DEC03
A Week in the Life
JAN04
5 Events
A Needed Sign
A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
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FEB04
Supress Motion
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
Closing Argument
APR04
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
MAY04
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
JUN04
Chocolate Chip Marijuana
A Week in the Life
High School Critique
JUL04
A Week in the Life
Cripple v. Cop
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
04 Long Week
05 Long Week
I'm a Narc
AUG04
Frustrating Day
Damn Yankee Defense
A Week in the Life
SEP04
Angry Relative
01 Long Week
OCT04
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
04 Long Week
-----
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
NOV04
Client Families
DEC04
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
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05 Long Week
06 Long Week
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Confronted
JAN05
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FEB05
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MAR05
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Fail to Visit
APR05
Trial of the Century
MAY05
Transcript: Court Argument I Won
A Day in Court
Moments in the Life
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Angry Jury 02
JUN05
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My Own PI
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A Moment in Court
A Moment in Court
JUL05
Huh?
Raccoon Attack
AUG05
Picking on a Prosecutor Intern
Moments in the Life
SEP05
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OCT05
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A Day in the Life
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Torture by Judge
A Federal Habeas
NOV05
Invisolawyer
Petition Freak Out
Moments in the Life
Moments in the Life
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DEC05
Moments in the Life
JAN06
Jury Trial Fizzle
FEB06
A Bench Trial
Bittersweet "Victories"
A Prosecutor Tries to do Right
MAR06
What Just Happened?
Va. Worse than Conn.
Illness as a Defense Attorney
Failed Prison Visit
APR06
Heard in a Courthouse
Appellate Court Argument 01
Va. Court of Appeals
MAY06
Heard in Court
JUN06
Bad Press
Entire History of a Trial
Bad Press 02
JUL06
I Must be too Good
AUG06
Announce Becoming Prosecutor
The Last Life in a Week
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Client Communication
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CYA Letter: Felony Client
CYA Letter: Appeal
-----
Dear Mr. Jailhouse LawyerConversation between Inmates about Lawyers
Innocent Client Pleads Guilty
Client Parents
Time as a Prosecutor
JAN07
The New Office
FEB07
Different Court Diferent Behavior
Competency
MAR07
Cats
Ma'am I'm the Prosecutor
JUN07
I know nothing
23 Felonies
JUL07
Cross
Cross II
2d Simplest Explanation
OCT07
Jury
FEB08
CrimLaw Prosecutorial Corollary #1
MAY08
Paranoia
JUN08
Why Not Drop?
JUL09
Buy Me Dinner First
AUG09
Jury Sentencing Argument
SEP09
Is Litter Patrol Jail?
OCT09
Paperwork Closing Argument
APR10
Bubonic Bob & the Creative Judge
JUL10
Finding the Perfect Witness
APR12
Small Town Cop : Big City Lawyer
JUN12
Maturity Ain't Orange
Criminal Law
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FourthAmendment
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4th Circuit
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Worthwhile
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day by day
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Legal Scholarship Blog
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Justice & Drugs
Ernie the Attorney
Bag & Baggage
In case anyone out there needs this warning: This ain't legal advice. Everything in the blog is off the cuff and no one goes back and reads all the cases and statutes before blogging. The law may have changed; cases misread and misunderstood two years ago can still lead to a clinging misperception. Courts in your county, city, or State probably don't operate as described herein. Feel free to be inspired, but YOU MUST ALWAYS DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH OR HIRE A COMPETENT ATTORNEY TO DO SO because I haven't.
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